Qandi Gul was born in Kunduz province. When she was 16, her family arranged her engagement. Immediately after the engagement was arranged, however, the Taliban took control of Afghanistan, and a repressive environment for women was established. When Qandi Gul's fiancé came to get her, Qandi Gul's mother would not let her go—the men in the family were away and there was no one at home to help make sure the transition was safe. The fiancé came back with Taliban members, who whipped Qandi Gul to punish her for not obeying her future husband. Fearing for Qandi Gul's safety, her mother had no choice but to give her daughter over to be married. Unfortunately, Qandi Gul's marriage followed a common pattern: her husband beat her regularly, and she was not allowed to visit relatives or friends. Her husband took control of a piece of land she owned. Then after five years, he married a second wife. In a final insult, Qandi Gul's husband took her and her newborn baby to his brother's, where he informed her she would be living from now on. She had no choice but to comply. After a few years, her husband came back—to take her child from her. Qandi Gul learned about WAW's Family Guidance Centre in her community and went there for help. Initially she wanted assistance in getting a divorce, but after some sessions with a WAW counselor, Qandi decided that she would prefer to have her family back together. WAW counselors make sure their clients know they've been heard. So Qandi Gul, her husband and a WAW caseworker started counseling and mediation. After eight sessions, they agreed to refer the matter to a jirga, an Afghan community decision-making model. Qandi and her husband appeared before the jirga, which made the following decisions:
1. Qandi Gul's husband would return posession of her land to her.
2. Qandi Gul would get a separate home, which her husband would furnish.
3. Both wives would have equal rights.
4. Qandi Gul would be permitted to visit relatives and friends.
5. Qandi Gul's children would again be allowed to live with her.
We are happy to report that Qandi's husband complied with all the jirga's decisions. He learned to respect the legal process—and WAW's Family Guidance Center and staff. Most of all, he was impressed by his wife's tenacity and determination to get her life back. He has committed to rebuilding their life together with their four children. Qandi Gul has found a new happiness and freedom, and the family has begun a new life.
